Thursday, August 6, 2009

Making Sweet Love, Naughty or Nice

From a particularly early age many people were taught to be considerate of others. This might remind you about having to politely thank your Great Aunt for the appalling pink and orange-striped sweater she knit for you. If so , we encourage you to re-think thoughtfulness. It is not something you've got to do. Instead, it's something you can select and may help your love relationship be more intimate, close and passionate.

Being considerate probably doesn't sound really intimate to you. It tends to be all about opening doors for folk, remembering a pal's birthday, or shoveling snow from a neighbor's driveway.

We believe that when you elect to be considerate, you are making a choice to focus your love and attention on the other person. When you trowel the neighbor's driveway and feel chuffed to do it-not obligated or guilted into doing it-the warm feelings between you and your neighbor are likely going to grow. The considerate act not only benefits the neighbor very literally, it benefits you because it feels good to help some other person when your action is coming from the heart.

The same goes with your love relationship. Too often, we give adore and care to everyone else BUT our partner. It is too straightforward to take for granted that your partner will be there regardless of how you treat him. It also feels good!

Tip one : considerate Acts

As we alluded to above, the kindness is pretty much lost if you are feeling like you must do whatever it is. If you would like to be more considerate towards your buddy but those shoulds are still there, try concentrating on gratitude. You can even make a catalogue of everything you are thankful for in your relationship. It probably won't take long for those shoulds to melt and then you can select what you'd like to do.

Be aware of what your love likes and is touched by. Use those clues for ideas. One man regularly treats his love with a warm, clean towel fresh from the dryer as she out of the shower. An act like this can even turn from considerate to sensual!

Sometimes the ways we think about our partner, our self and our relationship do not serve anyone concerned. Do you tend to expect the worst from your chum ( and/or yourself ) ? Do you view your other half ( and/or yourself ) with a critical eye on the lookout for what you'd like to improve? Many people fall into these habits. Believe it or not, even if you do not say a thing, a negative thought can be felt.

If you notice the majority of your thoughts just don't serve you, your better half or your relationship, it's not too late to make a shift. We all have grouchy days when even the sun shining and flowers blooming are aggravating. When moments and thoughts like this arise, acknowledge them and then see what else you can notice. Maybe your partner's table manners drive you nuts but the incontrovertible fact that he or she cooked a tasty wonderful meal for the two of you causes you to feel good and appreciative. You can opt to give more energy to what you appreciate.

If having a more intimate and obsessed relationship sounds appealing to you, try opening up to more thoughtfulness. Increase your considerate acts and thoughts for a week and see how you're feeling. You partner may even catch on to the experiment and join you!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I Have Kids, Should I Tell My Date?

Yes, yes, and yes! Let your date know you have kids on your first date. If your date can't accept the fact that you have kids then this is a red flag that you should not go on a date with this person. Your kids are part of who you are, if your date has a problem with this then they have a problem with you.

Kenneth says to himself, I really like Sharon, and I know she is single and has no kids cause I overheard her tell her trainer Irene at the gym that she doesn't. I really want to ask her out on a date, but I have four kids that I'm raising on my own and I don't think she'll like me when she finds out. I'm not sure what I should do.

Sharon says to herself, there's this guy I met at the gym his name is Kenneth. I really like him, he always seems to know the right things to say and is so polite! I'd really like to go out with him. I just don't think he'll go out with me. I'm feeling guilty because I lied to my trainer Irene the other day and told her that I don't have any kids. I actually have three children. I told Irene this out loud so Kenneth could hear what I said and maybe he might want to date me. I'm not sure what I should do now. I'd really like to go out with Kenneth. I just don't know how I should tell him about my kids.

How do I go about telling my date about my kids? You can tell your date about your kids by using some of these tips:

1. Invite your date to pick you up for your date at your home and introduce them to your kids.

2. Consider making a meal for your date at your home and have your kids take part in the meal. This is the perfect opportunity for you to introduce you date to your kids.

3. During your date while making conversation, let your date know you have children. Also take
the opportunity to find out if your date has children as well.

4. If you correspond with your date via telephone or email prior to seeing each other in person,
let your date know you have kids.

You say, I told my date that I have kids and they don't want to go on another date with me, what should I do? Do nothing, consider yourself lucky that you found out that your date does not like kids. You didn't need to be with that person anyway. Good ritenance to them. Just move on! Date someone who will accept you and your kids, that's more important.

The sooner you let your date know you have kids the sooner you can get past this issue if it becomes a problem. The whole idea of dating is to date someone you are compatible with and who will want you for who you are no matter if you have children!